Stressful Situations (Jan. 4)

So today marked the return to school after a two week Winter break. Getting up this morning was no easy task. Luckily the school day went by pretty quick. However, there was a boys volleyball meeting after school which sucked ass. I'll get into that who ordeal in a later post.

Ah you know what? What the hell I'll just explain it now. I did this in my old blog and I ended up making it like four posts long which was really stupid on my part. So instead I'll just post a brief summary.

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So ever since my first year of middle school(6th grade, I have played on my school's volleyball team. Once I went on to Cholla High School I kept playing up until my junior year. It was mostly my parents who wanted me to play and I enjoyed doing it because it was fun and I had something to do. On the side I would be in clubs, play in tournaments, go to volleyball camps, and play on my parent's sand team. I made a bunch of friends and had a good time.

However, I soon began losing interest in the sport. Mainly because it seemed to take over my life. Every day of every week seemed to be volleyball and I didn't like that. It was overwhelming. But I soon found interest in acting and singing. I took a few choir classes in middle school and really enjoyed them. We even went to Disneyland in '05 and performed on the Plaza Pavilion. Though only like four parents and a couple wanderers watched. And I dropped the cane I was using for the performance, which it then rolled under the bleachers we were standing on. So this left me to use an imaginary cane for the rest of the show.

Still the experience was amazing and I began to like performing on a stage. During my Sophomore year I took a musical theatre class and my love for the stage just grew. I was able to come out of my shell and really be myself. Last year, my Junior year, I took part in some after school shows and took an advanced drama class which is the same class I am taking this year.

This is where things get crazy. Because I was so eager to perform in the after school shows I made the choice to quit the volleyball team. Of course my family, friends, and coach were all shocked and disappointed in me. And that's something I hate to do. Let people down. I felt bad, but at the same time relieved that I made the decision that would make me happy. Instead of worrying about what others wanted me to do, I chose to join drama and have fun.

Now it's Senior year. Everyone and their mom has been asking me "Are you playing volleyball this year Damian?" "Ready to kick some butt?" And me being me I just go along and say that I am. It's true I've made some promises saying that I would play and at first i was going to uphold them. But there is this yearning in me that just wants to screw everyone and continue with drama. Because that's something I can actually see myself doing as a career.

So as the season gets ready to start up, its seems that the stage is setting up for something big. I talked to my good friend Georgia today and told her about the whole situation. She pretty much said that as much as we talk about it, I always end up in the same position. Following everyone's orders and not pursuing what I want.

That's when I had an epiphany(SAT word and Sweeney Todd song).

Instead of just sitting around writing and crying about my problems, I just need to grow a pair and tell everyone off. It'll hurt letting down my friends and family, but if they can't accept my decision to quit volleyball again then they need to get a clue. It's ultimately my decision and what I want to do is my choice. Because I don't want to play volleyball anyone. I want to act and sing because I enjoy doing it. I love everyone for trying to do what's best for me and helping me out, but if they really want to show they care for me, than they need to let me do what I need to do.

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Sorry for making the blog post so long. I kind of get carried away when it comes to this. Guess it didn't end up so brief ha ha. Anyways when I do make the move to tell everyone I'll let you all know. But until then, only Bon Jovi can really express my thoughts.

"It's my life, it's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive. Its. My Life."

Until tomorrow!
Damian